Lost in The Woods- My Journey…

I’m trying to understand so many things about my Journey- That’s just how I feel, lost in the woods and trying to find my way back. I’m one to say that sometimes” We need to lose ourselves to find ourselves”- My creative mind is in a cage of Chaos. Many people find one medium to their art life but for me, that seems unreal!. I just can’t, my mind won’t let me, my hands won’t let me, my eye’s won’t let and my Soul won’t let me. I have tried and I just can’t do it. I wonder sometimes if being a creative soul is more of a damnation than a gift. My mind won’t stop seeing everything in a creative way. One moment I’m doing Collage and then suddenly I’m doing gift tags, and then I jump into doing my hand made cards, and then I see a blank canvas and I’m doing Abstract, Mixed Media and then I’m thinking I can do Encaustic, and so on. It’s a constant battle my Creative mind, my Soul and how much I can handle it all. When I decide to make the jump with no safety net moving to Santa Fe, I had a vision. I wanted to live in the mountains, I wanted to open up my own cool, funky little shop and I wanted to teach. I took out all my savings and without thinking it to many times, I decided to jump! I left a great paying job doing displays, windows, and managing a team to make this vision possible. Don’t get me wrong I have no regrets what so ever on what I did!- I’m a risk taker and with that said, I have been able to learn so much about myself. Now I’m here, trying to make connections, letting the Universe know my plans, my vision, my passion and wanting to give back to others with my talents. It has been some what tough. Not many people care to help or lead you to the right information. I’ve been doing the Sunday Artist market every Sunday and even though it’s a good venue to do, I feel that from Monday to Saturday I’m missing out in selling my art and I can’t find anything that I can afford to even take my next jump cause people think that If you live in Santa Fe,you can pay 1,500 dollars for a 300 sq ft space! People seem to be selfish and not even try to work with others who are trying to make their DREAMS happen. Then they think that because you live in the mountains with a killer view that LIFE is just perfect and that you wake up everyday with your coffee and sit outside contemplating life with no worries- Well, the wake up call is that living in the mountains and being nurtured by Nature doesn’t solve your problems- It helps you to some point to heal your Soul, but it doesn’t solve the problems. So much to grasp at this moment in my life when I’m about to let go of my late 40’s and start the 5O!- Sometimes I feel I left some part of myself in some road I may have stopped a long the way to rest and forgot to wait for it cause I got in the car and hauled ass!- I question at times, I’m I running to fast? I’m even thinking to ahead of my thoughts? I’m not trying to sound that I’m complaining about my life cause I’m very blessed and very lucky to have this opportunity and have a creative mind to make beautiful things to make others smile and feel good. I know how lucky I’m and every night before I go to sleep I let God know how great-full  I’m  for all he has given me and even when I have the time to open my porch doors and sit outside with the stars that look like the most beautiful art work over me and let the Universe know that I’m also great full for all this!- Even when times are hard, I seem to make it through- I live with very little now days and a very simple life. So, yes I’m grateful and “NO” I’m not complaining.- I’m just wondering if I’m doing things right? I guess being lost in the woods is another different Journey that connects in finding that other path which will connect to one. Maybe I’m feeling that it’s my time to shine and I don’t see that light or it’s very dim. Maybe being lost in the woods will bring me back to that person I once left behind, I guess time will tell. I hope that this leap of Faith I took is the right road that will lead me back and connect me with my missing links….

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6 thoughts on “Lost in The Woods- My Journey…

  1. ….you have placed yourself in a sink/swim situation it would seem from reading all you’ve written. Coming to a new city with probably a large art community already established, it is almost certainly going to take you some years (yes, years) to make the important friendships/contacts/associations which will help you gain a foothold. It was very true for me moving to my new city 8 years ago–only now can I say I have a solid hold on my place within the wider art network, but it took a long time. I do hope you’ll soon gain your sea legs and find an artist soulmate who will guide you into the ins and outs of Sante Fe culture. Just don’t despair. If worse comes to worse you’ll find yourself another position in window design/merchandising, while not letting go of your ultimate goal. I wish you well, and peace of mind and heart!

    1. Thanks, Weisser…I’m a very strong person, I don’t give up that easy… The window/visual thing here in Santa Fe, is none existence!- They don’t care nor believe in that sort of thing. I know it takes some time to establish yourself even at a new job as well. Sometimes we just need to write what we feel and let the Universe send you messages!… Thanks!!!! for taking time to read my post!..

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